i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
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