take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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