Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
