Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
