Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
