you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
