I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
