Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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