After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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