i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
