This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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