Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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