that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
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