It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
