Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
