I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
