She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
