I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
