You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
