Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
