You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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