you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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