And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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