Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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