Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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