what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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