i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
