do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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