sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
