i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
