Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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