Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
