I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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