Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
