i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
