Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You brought string cheese to the strip club
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
