so that wasnt chicken after all
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
