did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
