is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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