I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
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Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
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I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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