I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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