He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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