I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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