and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you didnt know i had herpes?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
