i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
