cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Mom said you looked used
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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