I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
