i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
