I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
