you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
