I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
high people should be assigned attendants
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
