And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
