ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Randomize
