it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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