that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
