You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
