Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
