So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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