Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
