Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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