It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
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Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
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Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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