Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
