This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
