There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
it's like iHOP with fire
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
