Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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