Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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